It seems weird to be writing about TacDys over here on my personal whining post, but... There's a part of me that just can't be divorced from my gamer life, and that's the part I want to address today. The philosophy I've built up after like twenty-seven years as a player of video games and eleven or twelve years as a player of MUDs and MMORPGs is as much a part of me as my anxiety, mood imbalances, and authority issues. I put the tenets of Tactical Dysfunction into play in pretty much every aspect of my life. And... I dunno. Of late I've just felt an overwhelming sense of "you're doing it wrong" when talking to other people.
In gaming, Tactical Dysfunction means forcing the game to work around you, rather than working around the game. It eschews flavor of the month builds and comps, ignores the prevailing metagame, and carves out its own Robert Frost-esque path through the grind. It means accepting all playstyles and preferences as equally valid. It also means striving for excellence, not just on your own level but on a general level, and adapting yourself and your demands to that ultimate goal of greatness. To be Tactically Dysfunctional is to brook no incompetence, to expect the most out of yourself and the people around you, and to mentor and encourage the latter so that they can realize their potential. It's finding out-of-the-box solutions to problems, and making what you HAVE work, rather than forcing everything around you into The Mold and trying to make THAT work. Because generally it doesn't.
In life, or at least in my life, I view people and the world as my fellow players and my game. We all have goals, or at least goals to which we pay lip service. There is competition, and there are those who preach that the only road to success is that which they've traveled themselves. Focus. College. Suit and tie. Corporate sell-out. Anyone who breaks that trend is highlighted as the exception to the rule. An outlier from the standard deviation curve. As a woman walking the path of Tactical Dysfunction, I look for ways to turn my own talents and strengths into a powerhouse, rather than trying to force myself into some society-set mold that doesn't take into account my weaknesses and adaptations to them. Rather than trying to market myself as the ideal pencil pusher or laboratory assistant, I offer myself up as a problem solver, critical thinker, and spiritual heir to Ronald Regan as the Great Communicator. And when I can't find a role that works for those skills, I create my own.
Hence these blogs. And my stream. And all of that. The desire to carve my own path in this world is what keeps me researching branding and marketing, and how to launch and maintain that brand. That's what gets me to push through having low viewership, dipping daily views on the websites, and keeps me fine-tuning my identity as a writer and broadcaster.
I don't believe that by putting myself out there, I have to either take or leave my success as it passively comes to me. Not that I'm going to look down on those who do, but... If they were to come to me for help, I would gladly offer suggestions on how they might improve their lot. And I don't mean to disparage those who play by the normal rules, and chase their society-labeled shoeboxes. Some folks are more comfortable like that, and for a lot of people those predefined roles and rulesets fit as well as what I've tried to customize around myself.
To be Tactically Dysfunctional is to maintain perspective, and consider a person as a whole before making a judgement. It means calling out those who are blindly leaving their strengths to atrophy while fighting to do what is expected of them. It's about nurturing those around you, and building them up so that they can realize their potential, and not just what someone else says is their limit. What it DOESN'T mean is fighting for people who will not fight for themselves. If someone will not invest time into their own development, and actually strive for success after declaring their standards and goals, the Tactically Dysfunctional say "fuck you" and move on. They do not believe in carrying around dead weight. They do not endorse rebellion for rebellion's sake.
And that's the part that people seem to forget when I'm telling them about this mindset, both in gaming and in real life. Because it sounds so much like a liberal lovefest or a carebear family guild, folks seem to ignore the expectation of effort and success. The overall goal of being The Best by doing not what is expected of us, but what we WANT to do. Maybe that's my fault for not properly communicating those conditions, and focusing too much on letting people define themselves. I don't know. But lately I'm starting to get pissed right the fuck off by people calling themselves TD without upholding what I see as the most basic tenet of the ideology: don't be a fucking scrub. Tactical Dysfunction is NOT permission to fail. It's not an excuse for gimping yourself. It affords you the freedom to make choices outside the norm, but NOT choices which will negatively impact your performance or that of your group.
I'm so fucking tired of people saying "But Roxi... you said I could still be successful doing whatever felt right. Why are you being so harsh?" Because FUCKING FUCK people. What you're trying to do is the equivalent of being a professional juggler of flaming rubber duckies as a fucking blind guy with no arms. You're being stupid, and you're ignoring all of THESE strengths. Why? Because you think flaming rubber duckies are cool? Jesus fuck, people. Focus on what makes you YOU and build around that. Don't just go "Oh, this is sparkly" and decide that's what you want to be. -.- That's pretty much the exact OPPOSITE of being Tactically Dysfunctional. And while we're on the subject...
WORK FOR WHAT THE FUCK YOU SAY YOU WANT.
Don't just expect others to form around you to make it work.
Don't just hope for the best, and then whine when it doesn't come to fruition.
You're not following the norm, of COURSE it's going to take a lot more hard work and dedication than if you just followed the cookbook. You should have known that when you jumped on the crazy train.
So yeah. I am Tactically Dysfunctional. It's not for everyone, and I'm cool with that. But don't expect me to sit idly by while you fuck yourself, or let myself be dragged down with you because you don't know what the fuck you're doing.
Homie don't play dat. (Do people fucking say that any more?)
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